Do you find yourself having two conversations at once these days… with the same person?
My wife and I seem to do that alot. Not so much face to face but IM’ing. She will type a question at the same time I will type a question, then I will answer her while she is answering me, then…
It is even worse when we include the kids.
I do not make healthy decisions when I am out and about.
For example, first thing this morning I had to go see a customer. So afterwards instead of going straight back to the office and eating plain yogurt with blueberries I stopped and got an Egg McMuffin with hashbrowns and a flavored ice coffee.
Then I had to go out again mid morning but instead of going back to the office and eating the yogurt I didn’t have for breakfast I drove through and got a double double with fries and a chocolate shake.
And posting this blog while driving… That can’t be too healthy either.
Posted from my iPhone 3g
(why do people keep honking at me?)
Steve took the bus up to the bookstore and asked if I would run pick him up.
Jay went with me and after we picked him up the conversation went like this:
Steve: Well, I got C.S. Lewis and H.P. Lovecraft.
Jay: You just like people with two first initials.
Me: I should use two first initials then maybe I’d be a famous writer.
Steve: J.A. Boshear?
Me: No, I need a pen name.
Jay: Bic?
I reminded myself of Lucy when I got home the other day.
I backed into the driveway as usual… So far, so good.
Then I grabbed a few forms I had just picked up at the bank to take them into the house. Then I picked up my iPhone off the seat (earbuds still in my ears). Then I saw my empty water bottle in the cup holder and decided I should take that in and refill it… Oh! And my thermal coffee cup, I have a dentist appointment in the morning and I’ll want coffee after that. Oh, there’s my laptop, I’ll need that too!
So with all this in hand(s) I managed to get my door open and get out of the car and make my way toward the front door… So far so good.
As I stepped away from the car I got the urge to lock it… Lucky for me I still had my keys in my right hand. I pressed the lock button and continued my walk toward front door… So far so good.
As I got to the door I remembered (like I do every night) that my keys for the door are in my left hand pants pocket. Unfortunately, my left hand was carrying the lion’s share of the load (as it does every night). My left hand was holding my iPhone, the bank forms and my laptop.
My first thought was to put my iPhone in it’s holster (which I wear on my right side).
So, to help free up my hand I first put the forms in my mouth… So far so good.
Then I attempted to put the iPhone in it’s holster but I couldn’t see to do that because the forms were blocking my view.
After struggling for a few minutes I managed to get the iPhone snug in it’s pouch. Then I moved the laptop to my right hand so my left hand was free to grab my keys.
As attempted to straighten up and reach into my left pants pocket I realized that the cord for my earbuds must have gotten trapped between my iPhone and it’s pouch and I couldn’t straighten up.
As I write this it occurs to me that I could have just reached up with my left hand and pulled the earbids out of my ears but for some reason I didn’t think of that at the time.
So I stood there hunched over with my coffee mug, water bottle, car keys and laptop comuter in my right hand and my bank forms in my mouth and reached into my pocket and got my house keys. Then cocked my head a little so I could see to fit the key into the lock… So far, so good.
It was at this point that I discovered that for the first time in our 34 years of marriage my darling wife had not locked our front door.
Well, no harm, no foul. I hobbled into the house and over to the table and put down my laptop, my house keys, my car keys, water bottle, my coffee mug, my iPhone and earbuds… So far, so good.
Then I reached up to take the papers out of my mouth and I’m not exactly sure what happened…
But you know how when it is freezing cold outside and stick your tongue to a metal pole? It was like that.
For some reason those papers had become one with both my upper and lower lips and when I tore them from my mouth my lips came with them…
Okay, I exaggerate. But seriously it took an entire layer of skin from inside my mouth, upper and lower.
Damn that hurt. It still does just thinking about it.
;;
J
Posted from my iPhone
It’s hard to believe that it has only been a year since I last posted. It seems like forever. So much has happened since last Father’s Day.
Most importantly, Da Boy got engaged. Soon our family will consist of Da Man & Da Woman, Da Girl & Da Other Boy, Da Boy & Da Other Girl.
Cool.
Da Other Girl is awesome. She is quite the artistic type. She can draw, she can write and I’m told that she can sing. I’ve never had the occassion to hear her sing since no one else in this family could carry a tune in a bucket, but hopefully someday she’ll sing for me. But even if she can’t really sing I am still in awe of her drawing and writing talents.
Anyway, watching them plan the wedding has been lots of fun.
Also, in the past year Da Girl graduated college. She was on the 12-year program to get her BA in Anthropology. But hey, she graduated! (cum laude no less). We are two for two.
Lot’s of other cool stuff happened in the last 12 month too, but I just want to talk about my Father’s Day Weekend. That’s right, this year I got a whole weekend instead of just a day.
Okay, I really don’t want to talk about it, I think I’ll just let you look at the photos and captions. You know, save a thousand words and all that (I guess it works out to 81,000 but who’s counting?).
http://picasaweb.google.com/boshear/FatherSDayCampout
Enjoy.
Yesterday was my father’s day.
Well I got presents last Sunday and Da Boy cooked me dinner and all but Da Boy and I haven’t really hung out together for a while so I suggested we go on a 4 mile hike up Tesmescal Canyon. The hike was being organized by one of the trainers at the gym I go to.
I have been doing 3 miles on the treadmill with a slight incline so I knew four miles on an actual mountain would be a little tougher but I figured I could handle it.
Man, was I suprised.
Not about me handing it, I did fine but Da Boy had all kinds of trouble. We were doing great (or so I thought). We were 2nd and 3rd in line (I have to stay behind the ones I love because when I don’t I just keep looking back to check on them). Then after about 20 minutes Da Boy suddenly says “I’m gonna fall back”.
WTF?
He must be in better shape than me being all young and not overweight or anything.
So I hung back with him and the group went on ahead of us except for the guide bringing up the rear. She radioed to the guide in the front and he said that they would wait for us at a small bridge up the trail.
When we got rested and caught up with them I jokingly told Da Boy “I was determined not to give out until you did… I’m so glad you did” but the truth be told I was doing okay. I was breathing heavy and all but I wasn’t ready to slow down.
We continued bringing up the rear and every few minutes Da Boy would stop and rest and I would stop with him. After about the 4th or 5th rest we were about 2/3 of the way up when I was begining to wonder if he was going to make it. I was also wondering if he was just faking it because he was worried about me. He would do that.
Then he proved he wasn’t just going slow on my behalf. He was setting on a rock resting for about 5 minutes when he suddenly crawled across the trail and started throwing up violently. Appartly he had not eaten breakfest and then he drank too much water too quickly. After he threw up all the water he just laid there for a long time.
I said we would head back down once he was feeling better. After a few more minutes he got up and the guide asked if we were going to head back down and he said “No, I’m gonna get my dad to the top of this mountain.”
I tried to talk him out of it but if you know Da Boy you understand why I didn’t waste alot of energy on that one.
I did take his backpack away from him though, under protest.
After several more rest stops we finally made it up to where the rest of the group was waiting for us. They were just a little way from the top which loops around so the guide suggested we wait there and they would pick us up on the way back down.
That was fun. We just sat and talked. About nothing really, but it was fun.
When the group came back down Da Boy picked up his backpack and we headed down the trail. We took a different trail down.
That’s where the great views were but the battery in my camera died so I had to take pictures with my cell.
We made it down the mountain just fine and we drank and ate trailmix and headed home. Boy was planning to go see his girlfriend later so he was gonna sleep a little first.
I went home and got showered then the Woman decided she wanted to go ride bikes at the beach. We hooked up the bikes to the back of the truck and headed down Rosecrans Av to the beach. The parking lot was full but the guy said they were checking it and should be opening it up soon… but he wouldn’t let us wait there.
We circled around the block a few times and then it opened up… but of course I was facing the wrong direction when they opened it and there were cars in front of me that weren’t moving.
I was about two car lengths from the gas station driveway where I could turn around and I was so afraid they were going to close the lot again before I got back there… since there was no on coming traffic I decided to just go for it.
Of course you know as soon as I pulled out (driving on the wrong side of the road) the Woman freaked out but I assured her it was fine because there was no traffic. Just then a car came around the corner heading straight for me so I had to punch it to get to the driveway before he hit me (or honked or something terrible like that).
It was fine but the Woman decided to just keep her eyes covered until we got completely turned around and all the way back down the hill and into the parking lot. Of course in hindsight perhaps it wasn’t that she didn’t want to see but that she didn’t want to BE seen (with that idiot driver… who does he think he is anyway?)
We finally got parked and rode our bikes up and down the beach for two hours. After that we went to the gym and sat in the whirpool for a while then we went home and crashed.
It was a great day.
About 7PM I figured I’d check on Da Boy to see how he was feeling so I called his cell. He didn’t answer so I left a message for him to call me back. He didn’t.
I woke up at 3AM and realized he still hasn’t called. I’m sure he just got the message too late to call.
I laid here for a while then decided to send him a text message. It’s now after 5AM and he hasn’t answered that yet either. I’m sure he’s asleep. I should be asleep too.
Maybe I’ll try that… after I hear back from him.
We went to the L. A. Zoo yesterday. It was a great day.
One of the funniest things we did was see the bird show.
When we got there the place was packed so we walked back and forth looking for a seat and by our third trip across the place the show was about to start and one of the trainers said “Sir you’ll have to take a seat” so I jumped into a single seat in the second row and Cheryl sat in front of me in the first row. I’m glad we didn’t find seats on our own, they wouldn’t have been that good.
Once the show started they said they needed a volunteer so Cheryl raised her hand. The trainer asked her if she had a dollar and she didn’t so they picked a different lady that was way in the top of the stands. They had her take out a dollar and hold it in her outstretched hand. Then this cute little albino cockatiel flew up and took the dollar bill out of her hand and brought it back to the trainer. The trainer said “Thank you, I hope you enjoy the rest of the show”. But then she had the bird take the dollar back to the lady.
They continued the show having a few other birds perform then the trainer said she needed another volunteer and she looked right at Cheryl and said “…and this time you don’t need a dollar”. They had her go up to the edge of the stage area and explained what was going to happen.
The trainer explained to Cheryl that she was going to give her two grapes, one for each hand, and she should hold them in her outstretched arms. Then the bird would come out and land on the stump in front of her, next it would fly up and land on her right arm and eat that grape then it would fly over her head and land on her left arm and eat that grape, then it would return to the stump. The trainer wanted to make sure Cheryl understood what would happen and that she was not going to get freaked out or anything.
Cheryl said she was fine and she loved animals.
Right after the above photo was taken the trainer stepped away and waited for the bird to come out. The bird didn’t show up so she said “Let me go back and see what’s going on”. As soon as the trainer left they started playing that song “I’m too sexy for my…”
And then all hell broke loose. I couldn’t react as fast as Cheryl did but then I didn’t see it from her vantage point. All I knew was that Cheryl was suddenly back in front of me, she was trying to hide the grapes the trainer gave her so the bird wouldn’t see them and everybody in the place was busting up.
Turns out the bird was a big ugly “ground hornbill”.
If you ask her today Cheryl will tell you that she wasn’t that scared but I’m not sure about that. All I know is that after we left the show people kept coming up to her at random in the zoo and asking her if she was part of the show and when she said “No” they said “Oh so that was real fear!”
LOL.
It was waaaay funny. I have a grainy video I took after I regained my composure enough to turn the camera on. Everyone was still laughing and you can hear one guy telling her “You can do it”.
