I reminded myself of Lucy when I got home the other day.
I backed into the driveway as usual… So far, so good.
Then I grabbed a few forms I had just picked up at the bank to take them into the house. Then I picked up my iPhone off the seat (earbuds still in my ears). Then I saw my empty water bottle in the cup holder and decided I should take that in and refill it… Oh! And my thermal coffee cup, I have a dentist appointment in the morning and I’ll want coffee after that. Oh, there’s my laptop, I’ll need that too!
So with all this in hand(s) I managed to get my door open and get out of the car and make my way toward the front door… So far so good.
As I stepped away from the car I got the urge to lock it… Lucky for me I still had my keys in my right hand. I pressed the lock button and continued my walk toward front door… So far so good.
As I got to the door I remembered (like I do every night) that my keys for the door are in my left hand pants pocket. Unfortunately, my left hand was carrying the lion’s share of the load (as it does every night). My left hand was holding my iPhone, the bank forms and my laptop.
My first thought was to put my iPhone in it’s holster (which I wear on my right side).
So, to help free up my hand I first put the forms in my mouth… So far so good.
Then I attempted to put the iPhone in it’s holster but I couldn’t see to do that because the forms were blocking my view.
After struggling for a few minutes I managed to get the iPhone snug in it’s pouch. Then I moved the laptop to my right hand so my left hand was free to grab my keys.
As attempted to straighten up and reach into my left pants pocket I realized that the cord for my earbuds must have gotten trapped between my iPhone and it’s pouch and I couldn’t straighten up.
As I write this it occurs to me that I could have just reached up with my left hand and pulled the earbids out of my ears but for some reason I didn’t think of that at the time.
So I stood there hunched over with my coffee mug, water bottle, car keys and laptop comuter in my right hand and my bank forms in my mouth and reached into my pocket and got my house keys. Then cocked my head a little so I could see to fit the key into the lock… So far, so good.
It was at this point that I discovered that for the first time in our 34 years of marriage my darling wife had not locked our front door.
Well, no harm, no foul. I hobbled into the house and over to the table and put down my laptop, my house keys, my car keys, water bottle, my coffee mug, my iPhone and earbuds… So far, so good.
Then I reached up to take the papers out of my mouth and I’m not exactly sure what happened…
But you know how when it is freezing cold outside and stick your tongue to a metal pole? It was like that.
For some reason those papers had become one with both my upper and lower lips and when I tore them from my mouth my lips came with them…
Okay, I exaggerate. But seriously it took an entire layer of skin from inside my mouth, upper and lower.
Damn that hurt. It still does just thinking about it.
;;
J
Posted from my iPhone
